Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
