you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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