shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize