you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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