I bet he comes in French.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
what is it with giant penises always finding me
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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