Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Bring me that man meat
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
