where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
