i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
