How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
