we're blogging at a bar
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize