Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
