I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
