Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
