you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
