I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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