worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
