im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
