Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize