How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
