Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
