I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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