he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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