Say something about gay babies.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
