you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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