Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
