how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
