So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
he really is such a sweet guy. itβs a shame i have to break his heart.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Itβs Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
