I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
