did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
