R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
