If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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