i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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