he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize