Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
