it was like his penis was on wheels.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize