i don't like sucking hair
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
