Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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