i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have already put on my inside pants.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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