i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize