i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
