Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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