Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
