Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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