My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
