yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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