remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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