Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
3pm strippers are depressing
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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