please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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