I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
