Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i love accidental penises.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
