you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
