The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
