Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
