What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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