don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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