Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
