Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm too high and old for this...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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