Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
