i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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