Already got asked if we're dating
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
