ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
