You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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