So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
