In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
