That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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