Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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