maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
