Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize