He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Randomize
