They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize